That’s My Southern Truth

You can’t eat in everyone’s kitchen

Southern cuisine, believe it or not, may just be some of the wildest food you’ve ever eaten.

Why? Because a country boy gon’ survive.

If you turn your nose up to venison (deer meat) or squirrel, I’m going to need you to lower your voice when you talk to me because that’s just outrageous. I can understand squealing about frog or gator, but venison is better than beef and squirrel and tastes like chicken. So does gator. Anything will taste like chicken if you fry it long enough.

My family has always used deer meat either with or as a replacement for beef. Venison is a more lean, flavorful meat, and it’s fresher because we hunt and process it.

I hate to break it to you, but if you’ve eaten at my house, you’ve probably had deer. Yeah, that burger was super delicious cause it was half venison.

That being said, you can’t eat at everyone’s house in the south, strange meat or not. You know those people that say that not washing the mug makes the coffee taste better?

Sometimes the sentiment goes beyond the mug.

I sure enough have known people to never wash a cast iron skillet or their favorite knife because they think it will ruin the flavor. Yeah, that little “something extra” is the bacteria growing in the inside of the pot, my friend.

Ok, and hear me out on this one. I love cats. I really do. But if their chocolate starfish is touching the counter, and then you roll your biscuit dough on the counter, we have bigger problems. I asked for buttermilk biscuits, not a sampler of Butterball’s butt biscuit.

Herein lies the rub: it’s unfortunately some of the best food you’ll ever have.

The nastiest, stickiest, crackheadedest diner you’ve ever been to will have some of the best southern home cooking that will ever grace your lips.

I’m looking at you, Waffle House.

Truthfully though, maybe it’s the fly tape hanging from the ceiling and the dip wad in the cook’s jaw that adds just the right touch of authenticity to the place. Dang straight, Waffle House (or any diner of that capacity) will set you straight with some smothered hashbrowns and link sausage and the best waffle you’ve had since your grandmother cooked it for you when you were five.

It’s easy to make your friends think you’re a hillbilly when you tell them what you eat. My friends think I grill a whole alligator and rip it limb from limb and gnaw on it like a caveman or something.

I do not.

It’s fried, obviously.

I think the south’s love for wild food options stems directly from a need to survive. As I said, a country boy will survive.

Because who in their right mind would look at a frog and go, “Yeah, those legs look like they’d be tasty.”

Although, have I ever met someone here in their right mind? Good point, Katy, good point.

They were probably just really hungry after making hooch and smuggling moonshine and the frog was the only thing they could catch being so drunk.

That would be fun to watch. A southern boy’s last words, “Hey, watch this!”

I’m not entirely sure what possesses a man to do stupid things, but the number of times that some of these people should not have been able to walk away from what they did, and yet they’re sitting here telling the story astounds me.

Reminds me of the “real men of genius” Bud Light commercials.

Maybe we’re ok with eating such wild things because nothing else has killed us yet.

Whatever the reason, southern food is the best, no matter the means of the meal, and that’s my southern truth.