Emma's Enlightenments - Weekly Advice Column

This Week’s Advice: Take, Don’t Deny. 

Mistakes are things that everyone makes. I, myself, make many.  

The key aspect is, we can’t let the mistakes we have made define us or what we think we deserve. 

I was put in a position where I had to make a hard decision. Neither option was going to automatically feel good, but I had to look at the bigger picture. Do I deny myself what makes me happy, for what makes me comfortable? Even though the comfort was purely me being afraid of change? 

I felt terrible. I was conflicted, but I couldn’t keep myself in a loop that was only causing me harm. I was only going back and forth with myself. 

I had to think about the fact that denying yourself happiness, frankly, won’t give you any more happiness than you have now. 

This correlates to this week in the sense that you could be finding yourself in a class that isn’t for you, or in a group of friends that isn’t right for you, or even just mentally, finding yourself unhappy with where you are. All of these feelings and thoughts are normal, but you have to know when to choose yourself over fear. Being scared is okay, but when we are purely running off fear, that is when it becomes a fallback, instead of a security. 

There comes a point when you take, instead of deny.  

Sometimes comfortability isn’t comfort at all, it’s false hope. False hope that things will feel better, even though nothing is pointing to that route. It’s important to not let yourself get trapped in the cycle of denying, especially with these fresh weeks of college.  

Don’t be afraid to give yourself what you deserve, just because you fear what you feel you don’t deserve.  

There is nothing more important than taking the happiness you have within yourself and holding onto that. Denying yourself this happiness is only denying yourself, yourself.  

More so, denying yourself happiness because you think you don’t deserve it only proves that you do deserve it

Therefore, don’t be afraid to do that activity you have been waiting for, or to talk to the person you see every day in class. Don’t even be afraid of confronting who you need to, or asking that big question. You deserve to make new connections and do new things that you have been denying yourself. You deserve to be happy, not trapped in a shell of false hope. 

All in all, be happy. The best way to do anything is to find your own happiness within yourself and grow it.