That’s My Southern Truth: The art of piddlin' and fiddlefartin'

You ever just have nothing to do? In the south, there seems to be an abundance of time to piddle and fiddlefart around.

To piddle around or fiddlefart is the act of passing time in a calm and methodical nature, often by doing something that requires little effort or thought. Piddling and fiddlefarting is best done when there is too much time between one thing and another, and you need something to do.

The origin of these words is unknown to me, but I’ve always heard and used them in the context of doing something just to do it and or to kill time.

Now, I love a good lazy day. I could lie in bed all day long, and you won’t catch me complaining. But sometimes, I just have to get up and do something.

My family and I believe we are the world’s best at fiddlefarting. My dad and grandfathers will go out into their workshops and piddle for hours if you let them. It sure is a mystery what goes on in there. Definitely not any organizing, that’s for sure.

Some people piddle with games. I think the most common southern piddle is cornhole. Any southern event you go to that’ll be outside, you bet there will be cornhole. I even have a cousin who’s a professional cornhole player, and if that doesn’t convince you that we’re the world’s best, I don’t know what will.

Another great southern pastime is porch sittin’. Also known as a stoop, the porch is an essential element to piddling. Just set out there on the porch and listen to the neighbor’s wife scream at him, dogs barking, crickets and tree frogs (or maybe cicadas) chirping.

What else can you do outside? Well, use what’s available, of course. My house has tons of hickory nuts and acorns on the ground in the fall, which are endlessly fun to smash into a million tiny pieces. We also enjoy hitting them into the neighbor’s yard with a tennis racket.

My brother enjoys attempting to start small fires with a magnifying glass. For legal reasons, he hasn't succeeded. He’s fine.

Digging holes is my personal favorite. I love digging holes. At home, at the beach, it’s just fun. I always wanted to be an archaeologist.

I might even find a rusty nail or shell casing if I’m lucky. Most of the time it’s just rocks.

Oh, and another good way to piddle is to go for a walk. Not even very far, just a walk at a good, slow pace where you can really take everything in. Smell the smells and see the sights.

Pick a flower, listen to the birds. Find the bird that’s chirping. Consider chasing the bird. Resist the urge. What am I, a dog?

Creeks are fun, too. Any water, really. I love mudlarking around Lake Eufaula. There’s so much cool old junk in the mud. Sometimes I even find bones, and that is really exciting because then I get to figure out what animal it came from and try and piece it together with other bones I find.

It’s not weird.

Maybe that’s why there’s so many museums in the south. The government knows we need somewhere to fiddlefart other than expensive stores while we’re on vacation.

Maybe we’re all just nosy, too. The best way to piddle is to watch someone else. My dad sometimes has a garden, and I like to follow him outside and watch him tend to the plants.

Piddling is also a great way to learn things. I like watching my dad fix cars, make stuff, even simple things like sewing a hole in a shirt back together. Something about other people’s concentration and knowledge is so fascinating to watch.

To piddle and to fiddlefart is in the nature of every good ole’ southerner, and that’s my southern truth.