Skeeter eaters don’t eat skeeters

If you live in the south, you know that mosquitoes (skeeters) are a gargantuan pain in the behind. Then, there’s the “skeeter hawk.” Praise be the skeeter hawk, eater of skeeters. Skeeter eater, if you will.

These things look like giant skeeters, like the southern version of the giant spiders in Australia. If you’ve ever seen them congregating around your porch light like women to a gossip, you’d think it was the end of days. A Yankee would more’n’likely reckon it something out of (the original) Jumanji. Bless their hearts. 

Now meemaw may have told you that skeeter hawks are a blessing to have ‘round because they eat skeeters. As much as I wish this was true, it’s not. Skeeter eaters do not eat skeeters. Apparently, they’re not even skeeters at all- they’re crane flies, and the ones we got are adults. They don’t bite or sting, just piddle about and strangely enough pollinate flowers like a butterfly.

According to entomologytoday.org, “That inch-long, gangly-legged insect that sneaks into your house and bounces around the walls and ceiling is a crane fly, and despite rumors to the contrary, it is neither a predator of mosquitoes nor a colossal mosquito. And it’s harmless.”

I ain’t never seen one that’s only an inch long, but ok.

That reminds me, my friends at college had no earthly idea what a skeeter hawk was. They threw a hissy fit when one made its way into our room. I said, “Oh, it’s just a little skeeter hawk, it ain’t gonna hurt you.” Smacked it with my hand so they’d quit squealing like a stuck pig. They looked at me like I was the crazy one. Yeah, they’re from Alabama too, but clearly not the fun part.

For comparison, think of a crane fly like a granddaddy long legs spider. Like how a granddaddy long legs could kill you, but their mouth is too small. Skeeter hawks don’t even have the mouth part to be able to bite. Now hold on to your britches cause I’m fixin’ to blow your mind. Granddaddy long legs aren’t spiders. Do what? Yep. They don’t even have no fangs. They’re also not really called granddaddy long legs. Science folk calls them harvestmen. They’re commonly confused with cellar spiders, but hey, a spider is a spider. Or maybe not. I’ve been wrong before.

Now, if you’re a gardener or farmer, you may know that truthfully not all ladybugs are ladybugs. Ladybugs have a very common, invasive lookalike- Asian lady beetle. These Asian lady beetles are more yellow than a true ladybug, and pose a threat to the true ladybug’s population. The lady beetles were introduces to the states as a way to control pests, but now they’re a pest. Figures.

Anyway, ‘round here, we have a lot of misconceptions surrounding what we know to be true. But you know what, it’s always going to be a skeeter hawk to me. That’s my southern truth.