Silly-Scopes

by Kris Harrell

Aries: Invest in some Vitamin C and cough drops this week; you’ll be needing it for Spring Break. 

Taurus: Remember that drunk you and sober you are two totally different people. One is considerably smarter than the other.

Gemini: Instead of traveling for Spring Break, take the time to just relax at home. We all know that you need this more than swimming in a crowded beach.

Cancer: Beware of your zodiac representation this upcoming Spring Break… did you know that a crab’s pinch can have the force of around 700 pounds? 

Leo: This is your sign to NOT get that tattoo you were thinking about in Panama City. Be smart, research your artist first. 

Virgo: Just because you’re going to the beach, DOESN’T mean you need to tan 24/7… No one wants to see you transform into Larry the Lobster over the break. 

Libra: It might not be a good idea to bring your roommates with you over Spring Break… the RA’s have enough to deal with, and adding holiday drama to the mix will not make things better. 

Scorpio: It’s time to embrace your water sign and take to the streams! The nice, cool water will do wonders for your dry and ashy skin.  

Sagittarius: It’s time for you to unwind this break, but please do so safely. Party hard, but party cautiously. 

Capricorn: Be sure to eat well during the break. It might be easy to stock up on pizza and adult beverages, but throw a carrot into the mix now and then. 

Aquarius: While out partying this upcoming break, don’t make big decisions after 8 p.m. Sleep on the matter, and come to a level-headed conclusion. This includes, but is not limited to, tattoos, piercings, break ups, make ups, and all other decisions that will have effects after the break. 

Pisces: This is your sign TO get that tattoo you were thinking about… maybe not in Panama City though.